I have a confession to make.

It may have snowed, but with the sun shining and the birds singing, it’s springtime here in Syracuse. And with these sweet, precious moments of sun, a dormant creature returns from the shadows to campus: that guy who’s riding his bike.

You’ve seen him. There are many of him. Sometimes he’s wearing a helmet, other times he’ll wear a baseball hat. You just know him because he’s that guy over there, riding his bike. He thinks he’s cool because he whizzes past the Centro bus. He walks it sometimes on the curb like a horse from the stable. You swear you saw him whisper to it and chuckle once, but your friends don’t believe you.

I have to come clean to you now: I am the guy on the bike.

It’s true. I ride a 2006 Titanium Chaser that I found at the dump. After a quick montage of me repairing it in my backyard, it’s like a whole new machine. And now I return to campus, as I am the guy on the bike.

I am one of many, and we bring peace. Do not worry.

We just really like riding our bikes to class.

You should try it, this whole bike guy thing. It’s pretty fun stuff. You’re biking down University Place and you feel like you’re the camera in a Red Bull commercial, and then you realize, “Wow, this would be a really boring Red Bull commercial.” But campus looks nice.

I am the guy on the bike, and you can be, too. Try coming to one of our bike guy meetings. We share our bike guy stories, sing bike guy songs and discuss bike guy issues.

Last week, Karl talked about how the top one percent of car drivers use the road more than the bottom 99 percent of bicyclists combined.

Marc lectured on red lights. He likes red lights. You might say he’s a fan of red light rights.

We bike guys know not everyone likes us. And you don’t have to like us, because one day, you might bike like us.

Remember the bike guy creed: “It’s fast, it’s easy and the ride is super breezy.” We read that after we take bike guy attendance at our bike guy meetings. And you want to be a bike guy.

Don’t pretend you don’t. Because you can’t avoid us, us bike guys. We’re everywhere. We’re always watching. I am the guy on the bike. And so is that guy locking his up by Schine. There’s another one, pedaling past Hendricks.

You can’t escape. What will you choose?

You better join us, us bike guys. We’re coming. You can be a part of our world, or absent from it. We’d love to have you.

The map to our meeting place is hidden in this column. Finding it is your first test. When you arrive, knock three times and say “Bicycle, my sickle.” Joseph is taking attendance. Show him this column. I’ll see you there.

Ian McCourt is a junior television/radio/film major. He has a dream that one day all people will be bike guys, regardless of race, class, creed or origin. You can reach him at iwmccour@syr.edu or follow him on Twitter @OrderInMcCourt

Published on April 11, 2016 at 7:19 pm